Why Commutes Are Terrible, Version 2.0

It’s rush hour, and parades of people are dashing to catch their trains or walk to the places they need to be. Those who have the luxury of standing on the escalator stand on the right as a stream of people walk upwards on the left.

That is, until some loser decides to stand on the wrong side. And then suddenly everyone else decides that this is perfectly acceptable. All movement has stopped. You become engulfed in a suffocating sea of humanity and feel no compassion for the rest of humankind. As you are forced to stand on a human conveyor belt, you suddenly grow nostalgic for the death glares that London commuters, those staunch defenders of efficiency, sent towards anyone who even dared fumble in their pocket for their Oyster Cards.

And that’s why it takes you almost ten minutes to exit the train station. Or worse yet, that’s the reason why you miss your train. As you wait for the next one, you rue the day that the idea for a human conveyor belt had ever crossed anyone’s mind.

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